“The way of the fool,” the Bible says in Proverbs 12:15, “is right in his own eyes.” This was written about Benny the Bull.
Don’t know who Benny is? Well, he’s the bovine character in Dora the Explorer. And he’s an utter moron. An oaf. An imbecile. A simpleton. And I hate him.
(Disclaimer: I love Dora, the show and the character. I’ve written about her as a lead character of colour, and I also love the fact that the show is bilingual. But I hate Benny. He can take a long walk off a short pier.)
I first realised that Benny was an idiot when he got stuck on Coconut Island.
“How did he get there,” you ask.
“Great question,” I respond, before adding, “He’s a moron, that’s how. He flew there on a hot air balloon. Actually, that’s not true. He didn’t fly there. He crashed there. Because he’s an idiot.”
What are you doing in a hot air balloon, Benny? You’re a bull; what made you think that flying a hot air balloon was a good idea? Oh, wait. You’re a moron. You didn’t think. I hate you.
Think I’m being unfair on the ol’ guy? Here’s his official description on the Dora fan wiki:
“Benny is also a bit accident-prone. He once got stuck in a wall…”
Of course he did. Of course he got stuck in a wall. He’s a moron. Dora and Boots (her best friend, a monkey, who I’ll talk about another time) had to pull him out. Of course they did. Stupid Benny. I hate you.
It was also revealed in another episode, the fan wiki says, that Benny “can not sleep without nine dolls, which he calls his ‘guys’”. Because of course Benny can’t sleep without his nine dolls. Not “doll”. “Dolls”. Nine. Of. Them.
I feel sorry for Dora. It’s like 99% of her life is spent fixing Benny’s mistakes. It’s like that meme: “When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. It’s only difficult for others. It’s The Same Way When You’re Stupid.”
That was written about Benny, there’s no doubt about it. I hate him.
This is part 3 of a series of children’s tv reviews. Over the next few weeks, every Thursday, I’ll be reviewing one cartoon. Maybe a specific episode, maybe a general themes. Join me. It’ll be fun. Part 1 involved Teletubbies having sex, so there’s that. In part 2 I encouraged the people of Adventure Bay to vote out that useless Mayor Goodway.
The Good, The Bad and The Daddy 