I’ve been a journalist for a long time. Just this week I found a copy of my first ever mainstream article; it was about how convicted fraudster Schabir Shaik cheated in an exam at university. I’ve covered stories of municipal corruption, including of a mayor alleged that have helped his daughter secure lucrative government contracts (that mayor was later moved to a high commissioner post in London, big was removed for running it like a “spaza shop” – that story here. I know corruption. I’ve seen dodginess. I’ve written about scandal.
But when I see the goings on in Adventure Bay, I’m shocked to my very core. Something is very very wrong with Mayor Goodway’s administration. And something needs to be done about it.
Just to catch you up: Goodway is the mayor of Adventure Bay, a town best known as the home of the PAW Patrol. According the PAW Patrol wiki it’s made up of a beach, a bay, Seal Island, a few shops, a playground, and a farm. The PAW Patrol are a team of puppies, led by Ryder, who save the day — or at least that’s what the theme songs says.
Okay, you’re caught up. Now let’s talk about this Mayor Goodway for a moment. And imagine you’re a taxpayer in Adventure Bay, or a business owner.
Firstly, this mayor has not provided for your safety in any way, shape or form. There are no police, and no firemen. She’s outsourced that service (itself a somewhat dodgy practice because I’m sure it’s a municipal competency – and I wonder if fair tender/contracts were ever issued for this jol) to a bunch of puppies and a child! Yes. Ryder is 10-years-old. And his team are dogs, one of which, Marshall, is an utter moron.
This also should be reason enough to remove her from office. But let’s move on.
Secondly, Goodway walks around with a “purse chicken”. I’m not joking. An actual chicken that lives in her purse. Chickaletta is its name. And she cares more about this chicken than anything else. She dotes on this chicken endlessly, often to the detriment of her townspeople. But it gets worse: check this from the Chickaletta page of the same wiki I mentioned earlier:
“In ‘Pups’ Adventures in Babysitting’, Mayor Goodway reveals and confirms that Chickaletta is the Deputy Mayor of Adventure Bay …”
Guys … a chicken is the deputy mayor. How is this administration allowed to remain in place? Serious questions need to be asked.
The third thing to keep in mind is the possibility of nepotism, or at least historical patronage. Mayor Goodway’s great-great-great-great grandfather was also mayor. The first mayor of Adventure Bay, in fact. She’s erected a statue to him and holds a ceremony in his honour, too. She looks after it and gets upset if the statue gets even the smallest of smudges. Read into that what you will.
Also — this is the fourth thing, if you’re counting — she “lives at City Hall”, according to a source (the video here. So, taxpayers, you’re paying her rent!
Seriously. Can it get worse? Yep. Yep it can.
That same video says this about her:
“While Mayor Goodway always looks very out together on the outside, she’s usually on the verge of falling apart on the inside. Her anxiety is frequently uncalled for as she is quick to refer to any and all unplanned events as ‘disasters’.”
Wow. And this is one of her listed catchphrases: “What are we gonna do, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do?!” No sign of effective, strong leadership there.
I’ve been a journalist for more than a dozen years, and I’ve seen some stuff, so let me say this: People of Adventure Bay, you need to see what’s going on in your town. You have a panicky mayor, who needs a 10-year-old and a bunch of puppies (I can’t stress this enough: a child and some mutts) to keep your town safe. You have a chicken – an actual chicken – as deputy mayor. You have a mayor who siphons your taxpayer money to live inside her office and clean her relative’s statue.
A vote of no confidence is the least that should happen. Remove Goodway from office, before it’s too late.
This is part 2 of a series of children TV reviews. Over the next few weeks, every Thursday, I’ll be reviewing one cartoon. Maybe a specific episode, maybe a general themes. Join me. It’ll be fun. Part 1 involved Teletubbies having sex, so there’s that.
The Good, The Bad and The Daddy 