Time is relative. An exciting 90-minute soccer match feels like 5 minutes, 30 minutes on a treadmill feels like an hour, and 10 seconds of buffering on a YouTube video feels like days.
But the longest thing of all? An international flight with a toddler.
In November, we embarked on just such a thing. We flew from Durban to London direct – about 11 hours in the air. With a two-year-old. An active two-year-old. A two-year-old who had never been on a flight before. Oh, and it was a 7.30am flight. Eleven hours, with a two-year-old, in a confined space, during the day. It was daunting before we even stepped foot on that British Airways plane.
But we survived. This is how:
- Chatterbox. One thing I’ve learnt with Alice is that children know and understand more than we think they do (take how we’re teaching her about consent as an example). So we told Alice everything we could about the flight and what to expect. It’ll be loud, she will have to wear a seatbelt most of the time, she can’t run around, it might make her ears sore, it can be bumpy. Her granny took out a Topsy & Tim library book about flying on holiday. We explained to Alice how much fun she would have when we got to her holiday, told her about what we would do there and who we would see. You’re excited about your trip, right? Help them get excited, too!
- Prep, prep and more prep. Think you have enough snacks? Add more. Have enough nappies? You sure? Take extra. Two changes of clothes? Make it three, just to be safe. Alice had two tantrums on the flight; the first was because we had to put her suitcase in the overhead compartment. “I want my suitcase,” she screamed. But it wasn’t the suitcase. It was what was in the suitcase: all her toys. That’s what she wanted. Luckily, we had an amazing person in the row next to us who loaned us her son’s teddy for the first 15 mins of the flight. We got lucky. It shows how NB prep is. Keep at least one toy (a favourite one, if they have) out, and don’t leave everything in the bag, no matter how convenient it is. Another important piece of prep: reserve your seats as early as you can. Get into the bits with the most legroom – not for you, but for your kid and their stuff.
- Comfort first. Everything about that flight was to make sure Alice was happy. But I forgot about making sure I was happy and comfortable. Keep in mind that under-2s will have to sit in or on your lap for the ENTIRE flight, so you want to make sure your clothes are comfortable, that you’re not wearing something that’ll make you too hot (toddler body heat seems to be the hottest of all body heats). Your kid will want to get up all the time and walk around, so make sure you’re in an aisle seat so you don’t disturb other passengers (and that you don’t feel guilty about squeezing past them constantly).
- Peppa Pig it. I don’t know exactly how many hours of screentime Alice got on the flight, but I can work it out, roughly.
11 hours of flight time. 1 hour of sleeping. 30 mins combined take off and landing when screens must be off. 1 hour of non-screen games. 1 hour combined of meals/snacking. 1 hour combined walking around and exploring the plane. 30 mins combined of nappy and clothes changes. That leaves 6 hours of screen time.
Most of that time was spent watching Peppa Pig. Some Thomas the Tank Engine, but mostly Peppa. It kept Alice relatively still in my lap, stopped her from crying, and the headphones blocked out a lot of the engine noise. That much screentime is not ideal (and is at least thrice how much she gets on an average day), but sometimes it’s worth letting an animated porcine character keep you and your kiddo sane.
- Give them the full experience. When we were in the passport queue, Alice was allowed to hold her passport. She pulled along her own little suitcase. She got to hold her plane ticket and show it to the cabin crew. Alice wasn’t just traveling with us, she was traveling. It made me more involved and more excited about what she was doing. It went a long way to making the whole thing more fun for all of us.
- Break the rules. This one via Megan. Forget about the rules you have for your kid in terms of what they eat or when they can have their dummy or their bottle or whatever. Put those aside for the sake of your (and other travelers’) sanity. For a few hours, the rules can be broken.
- Streamline. Space and weight restrictions are real, very real – on board and in terms of luggage. So make sure that you plan for that. Use nappy pants instead of normal nappies, because they take up less space. Have travel-friendly clothing. Don’t overpack. Take thick jackets as part of your carry-on instead of in your suitcase. Plan and be practical.
- Carry on carry-on. Every passenger gets a bag for carry-on, including toddlers. Make use of this! We put my stuff into Megan’s handbag and used my backpack for things like spare clothing, Alice’s formula and bottles, snacks, and the thick jackets we needed because we were landing on a winter evening. This meant that we could use Alice’s carry-on for nothing except entertainment: her books, her toys, the iPad (guy, trust me, use one – and borrow one if you don’t own one), and that kind of thing. Effectively, we got two bags for Alice instead of one, which is vital when you consider how much stuff children need. Plus it saved space and we knew exactly where everything was when we needed it. Use the carry-on bags to your advantage.
- Shift work. Another one via Meg. “If travelling with another adult, share sleep time if possible. Shift work!” she said we I asked her to weigh in on some tips. She’s right. If you can, split up the work. Try sleep in shifts and you’ll possibly have to eat in shifts, too. Unless one person doesn’t mind losing their screen for the entire flight, try split your shifts into movie-length slots so that you can at least get some entertainment and you’re not bored stiff. Find the balance that works for you … because you’ll need it!
- End game. Stay focused on the result. Remember, it’s a short-term difficulty for a result that will create incredible experiences. Alice still talks about how she went on a “long aeroplane”, and how she saw a dinosaur (at the British Museum); about how she visited her family on holiday, and went on a train. Those things couldn’t have happened – and those memories not created – if we didn’t make a long-haul flight work first. You can read about that amazing holiday, and check out some things to do in London with a toddler here.
If you have other tips or survival guides to share, pop them in the comments. You can also check out The Good, The Bad and The Daddy FB page for more regular, candid updates. You can also follow my personal Twitter and Instagram feeds, if you so wish.
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